


Stronger Than You

by Autor_Moriarty



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Steven Universe AU, gemlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 19:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4360898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autor_Moriarty/pseuds/Autor_Moriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Watson had thought the Gem Homeworld had lost all interest in Earth, but when he discovers a forced fusion named Moriarty, a twisted experiment screaming in agony, he's forced to question not only his allegiances, but also himself.<br/>(Steven Universe AU, Gemlock)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stronger Than You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Johniarty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johniarty/gifts).



In the heat of battle it was difficult to focus on the bigger picture, but anyone taking a quick look around could see that the rebellion was failing. Even with the desert air shimmering from the heat, one could make out the rapidly lessening group of gems backing into a small huddle, the army around them marching closer.

Sinhalite gritted his teeth to quell his wavering confidence and continued to strike out with his poisoned blades, black hair glistening with sweat. What was left of his platoon had been fighting for days, but now it was becoming clear that Hiddenite had sent them to their deaths. Not that he would care much. As long as he got his end result, freedom from the Homeworld, Hiddenite would sacrifice anyone.

In a split second, Sinhalite lost his footing on a discarded weapon and toppled back, golden eyes flashing in fear. His current enemy took advantage of the opening and before he knew it, an ax handle was splitting through his forehead and completely shattering his gem. His last thought was of the human name he’d been given, a tactic by Hiddenite to strengthen his soldiers’ faith in the rebellion, before his physical form flickered with static then faded. Jim was gone, and all that was left were the yellow fragments of his gem, forgotten and trampled under the advancing army’s feet in only a few short minutes.

The battle ended. The war raged on.

 

* * *

 

John was eating breakfast when he heard the god awful screeching of Sherlock’s violin, the sort of noise he played when he was in a bad mood, and he quickly finished off his cereal before pulling on his shoes and hurrying out of the flat. There was no way he was going to spend all day cooped up with _that_.

Sure, they’d lived together for thousands of years, but that didn’t mean John was fine with all of Sherlock’s idiosyncrasies. His tendency to find and hoard obnoxious human instruments was one of the more annoying ones.

Looking back, it wasn’t even as if Sherlock liked humans all that much. For the most part he found them amusing, like ants or toys, and it had been more than once that Sherlock had tried to convince John to let him keep one as a pet. The latest victim he’d selected for manipulation was a young woman who worked at the local hospital morgue and provided Sherlock with body parts for him to… study. As if he hadn’t been studying human remains since the war had ended all those centuries ago. That idiosyncrasy was far more troubling.

John would probably be more disgusted if he set his heart to it, but at least these ones died without interference from Sherlock, and it was better than the alternative.

 

John ended up on the edge of the Thames, kicking rocks and staring out at the water in thought. He felt most at peace near the sea, but Sherlock had convinced him that this was where they would do the best job of protecting humanity, deep in one of the more populated cities on the planet. Blending in, acting like humans.

And while John sometimes longed for the beach, he did like the charm of London. The clouds were welcoming after the heat of the war. And the way they could simply change their names and clothes and home every few decades and continue to blend. It was easy. Getting harder, with the newer human technology, but nothing they couldn’t handle. It was home now. Even if John missed the Victorian styles more than he would admit.

 

After a few hours of messing around by the water, then a late lunch in a nearby café, John received a phone call. Newer technology was pretty nice. Although the fact that Sherlock was calling rather than texting wasn’t a good sign.

“Blue Agate, where are you?”

He was using his commander voice. Damn. Not good at all.

“Sir?”

“Where are you? Are you stupid or are you deaf?” Sherlock hissed and John scowled, tossing some money onto the table as he stood.

“I was just finishing lunch, I’ll be back soon. Has something happened?”

“I had a vision of something Gem-made landing in Kindergarten. Something from space. Possibly a ship. We need to find it.”

“Are you sure about that?” John asked skeptically, starting to jog back to Baker Street, “I don’t know why anything from home would be anywhere near our area of the universe, we’re pretty remote…”

“I’m certain of what I saw, you know my visions are always accurate, which is why this news is all the more troubling.” Sherlock snapped, “I will not go back, they’ll destroy us you understand.”

“I don’t care what happens to me.” John said.

“They’ll destroy the humans.” Sherlock responded, voice taking on a note of frightened urgency as he switched tactics to play off of John’s empathy.

John glanced around himself, a frown creasing his brow. He knew Sherlock was just manipulating him, but it was true and if he wasn’t here to protect humanity, then why was he here?

“I’m almost back.” John agreed and Sherlock hung up on him. Damn. Why would they be taking an interest in them again? It wasn’t like they mattered, and Earth was such a small planet, it seemed like the Homeworld Gems ought to focus their energy on larger places. Unless there was something he wasn’t being told. It wasn’t the first time John had had this suspicion, but it was the first time he’d given it some real thought. There must be some other reason the Homeworld Gems had for being interested in Earth. If not for the purpose of creating more Gems, then… John wouldn’t delude himself into thinking he was important, there were thousands just like him, all the same, just mindless soldiers made for battle, but Sherlock…

What could they want with Sherlock? Why had Sherlock wanted to leave in the first place?

 

* * *

 

For the most part, Sherlock was easier to be around. Not easy, just easier. He usually minded his own business, brooding or lurking in his room or on the couch, sometimes doing experiments on the human body parts or gem fragments they collected whenever they had a mission. Other times he would have a vision of a current event and disappear for solo missions, allowing John to relax, thankful for the little holiday.

But when he was in commander mode, Sherlock was insufferable. They warped to Kindergarten and for the next three hours searched for the ship, eventually deciding to part ways.

“No one else would have sent it. It’s from Homeworld.” Sherlock muttered darkly as they walked, “We need to destroy it when we find it.”

“We do?” John blinked in surprise, staring up at Sherlock, “But we don’t know why it’s here.”

“It’s from him.” Sherlock rolled his eyes, “Obviously. Purple Diamond.”

“But…” John turned back to the ship, “Can’t we find out why it’s here first? What if they’re here to restart Gem production?”

“They probably are. All the more reason to destroy them now. I won’t share this planet. Let’s split up, we’ll cover more ground.”

As John considered the statement, Sherlock pulled off his deerstalker and tossed it aside, revealing his forehead gem before he drew his bow and arrows from it in preparation for a fight. It wasn’t wise to let the humans know what they were, Sherlock always reminded him. It was like he wanted John to think that they’d turn on them, but why did he need to fear what he was protecting? And why was Sherlock so focused on not sharing the planet, shouldn’t it be about the humans?

 

Sherlock raced off on his own and John continued to march on, starting to think. Kindergarten. John’s skin crawled being back, the reminder of what he was too upsetting to think about for too long. A mistake. A danger to humanity. But also… expendable. He was only a soldier. He could recall his creation, the countless other Gems that looked just like him that had crawled from their own holes in the wall all at once, the way the faces blended together. And _him_ as well. Purple Diamond speaking to his new pawns from the screens the caretakers had pulled up, so they could learn to adore the Gem they were to devote their lives to.

John stood and looked around to bury his unpleasant thoughts, pulling the collar of his jumper down slightly to get at his own gem, firmly over his heart, and drew out his massive hammer. Maybe he could find something useful, it was better than giving his anxiety so much power. Perhaps if he found something useful, Sherlock would be pleased and trust him more to have his back. After a few more minutes, he stopped, blinking quizzically at the ground.

There was a square hole. He was certain there’d been no square hole before, when he’d lived here, at least not one that was open all the time. No doubt Sherlock would have thrown himself down it enthusiastically, determined to prove his worth.

John sighed and stepped inside, starting to slide at a carefully controlled speed.

There was a chamber at the bottom that glowed green and John quickly climbed down off of the walkway when he spotted another Gem facing the activated screen, with long black hair and wearing a beautiful orange and red dress that looked like fire. How long had it been since he’d seen another uncorrupted Gem? Besides Sherlock, all the shards they found produced monsters, but this was… someone from Homeworld.

“The fusion experiments are developing properly. A few have even emerged early.” The voice was feminine and purring and John listened more closely, fascinated by the words. Experiments. Fusion experiments. That hardly made any sense, what experiments could even be done with fusion, they already understood it completely. The glow from the screen faded as the mysterious Gem finished her report, then the sound of footsteps before she stepped onto the platform beneath the hole and began to ascend. John almost cried out but decided against it as the sunlight was blocked from the chamber, leaving the space only dimly lit by the power source gem on the far wall. There was no point in giving himself away. He could get out on his own, hammering his way back up to the surface perhaps.

John climbed back up onto the walkway and limped onto the main platform, eyes widening as he noticed the pillars of dirt lying about, the smell of soil fresh in the dusty air. They had been recently disturbed.  There was no other way. John tightened his grip on his hammer and approached one, a deeply unsettled feeling building in his chest. Something was wrong. Why dirt? It was usually used for Gem creation, but what about fusion experiments? Why was Homeworld experimenting here?

John carefully placed the head of his hammer on the ground so it stayed upright before he reached out and ran a hand across the dirt surface, his head swimming as the sense of wrongness built in his chest. He could feel something inside. Something stirring. If he could have been sick he would have in that moment when the first crack appeared in the dirt. What was it? A fusion experiment, what did that even _mean_?!

A glowing mass was seeping from the widening cracks, breaking the pillar wider, giving itself more room to crawl out of the dirt. John backed away in horror as the thing spilled onto the floor, shapeless and shrieking, before it began to shift, the outlines of two heads, four arms, so much pain, and deep in the center John could make out the yellow and red gem fragments forced together, two individuals fighting to take separate forms despite the irreversible changes made at their core.

John could feel tears rolling down his cheeks as they finally began to blend, the agonized screaming growing louder as they settled on a painful physical form. They easily could have towered over any human as the light faded and John was able to make the lithe body out. Four trembling hands grasping the platform to try and fight back the pain, a single pair of legs, and when they looked up John nearly screamed.

Four golden brown eyes narrowed and teared up with the torture, sharp teeth, and the gem shards stuck right into their forehead for anyone to see and know what they were. The skin on the left side of the body looked pink, like a simple sunburn, but right down the middle there was a jagged split and a more pale tone took over, the result almost like that of a burn victim, even the arms shared the color difference.

The mouth spoke, the left side drooping clumsily, “Make it stop. Kill us, kill us now.”

“I…” John swallowed thickly, crying harder as he realized that this is what Homeworld thought of fusion. Forced consent. Destroying free will. The mashed body was rubbing their forehead with two of the hands, indicating where John needed to hit to properly kill them, “Here. Here, right here.”

“I can’t.”

“Then... we’ll do it.” They began to grasp at their forehead, trying to summon a weapon, but the gems were too fractured and a pitiful scream followed, the creature slumping to the ground as their body shook with pain, “Kill. Kill. Kill. Please. Can’t.”

More tears rolled down John’s face and he knelt to touch their forehead, fingers trembling, “I can help you. If I kill you, there’s no chance…”

“No chance. Kill. Please. Kill. No more.” They were whispering, eyes blinking hard.

“What are your names?”

“Cuprite… Richard… Sinhalite… Jim…”

“Richard? Jim?” John blinked in surprise, “Those aren’t Gem names…”

“Rebellion names.” John’s heart ran cold as he realized. That was why they hadn’t been able to find all the Gems lost in the war on their side. They’d been stolen for… for _this_.

“My rebellion name is John.” He whispered as he ran a hand through their dirt caked black hair, hoping that there was some way he could ease the suffering as he leaned closer, allowing his tears to drip across the fractured shards on their forehead, “Do you… have a new name?”

There were a few moments where the body just breathed and stared with unseeing eyes, endless tears cascading onto the floor, then they spoke with less pain, John’s tears helping immensely, “Melanite… Moriarty...”

“Moriarty.” John whispered, “You still want a rebellion name?”

“Rebellion. From _him_.” They spat, eyes flashing in anger, “Diamond! Sphalerite! Not for humans! Gem freedom!”

“Calm down, stay still.” John urged but it was too late, Moriarty was already pulling away and dragging themselves up, smashing a pair of fists into the power source gem, easily destroying it and leaving them all in darkness. John stumbled back as he felt the forced fusion angrily stomping past him, starting to claw their way up the dirt incline to the surface.

“Moriarty! Please, be careful!” John raced after them, climbing as best he could, “My commander is up there! I don’t know how much he’d appreciate you…”

“Sphalerite! We’re coming for you!” Moriarty sing-songed, crashing through the platform that closed off the surface, squinting against the harsh sunlight before they shook it off and headed towards the ship, both sides of their body moving just slightly off from the other. Sphalerite was walking a safe distance away, but when she heard Moriarty she turned to look before breaking into a wide smile.

“Oh… Aren’t you lovely?”

John gasped as he followed Moriarty, reaching up to grasp at the trailing scrap of green fabric tied around their waist, trying to get their attention, “No! No, you need to rest!”

“Purple Diamond requested you specifically, you know. You’re going to make a great weapon.”

“We aren’t a weapon!” Moriarty shouted and Sphalerite glanced over her shoulder to check that her ship was exactly where she’d left it, hidden behind an abandoned injector, before she turned back to them, “Do you remember me?”

“We wouldn’t forget.” Moriarty spat out, fists clenching.

“My little… _rebellion_ name though? The one Purple Diamond gave to me specifically, for my strength in crushing down the dissenters and to mock your silly attempts to save humanity?”

Moriarty’s voice became rougher with emotion, anger fighting to take hold, “Irene.”

“Good pet.” Irene smiled, “And Purple Diamond will be so proud of how well you’ve come along. What were you before? Sinhalite and Cuprite? Tiny little things weren’t you? You hardly could hold a weapon with those tiny hands. Now look at you. You truly are a fearsome beast.”

Two sets of fists clenched and Moriarty brought his arms up as his legs settled into a fighting stance, eyes darkening, “We aren’t a beast or a pet. Nothing Purple Diamond does to us changes who we are.”

“Of course not.” Irene said gently, a wicked smile spreading across her face, “Hiddenite made you the beast.”

 

It had been a long time since John had heard Sherlock called by his real name and for a moment he wasn’t even sure that Irene was talking about him, but then Moriarty growled and John realized that they recognized the name.

“Hiddenite.” Their voices were echoing together, sounding like two different Gems, but the anger was so clear and unrelenting, “ _Where is he?_ ”

“Cuprite? Er… Sinhalite?” John murmured, reaching up to touch his left hip, “Please… He’s not a threat.”

“We’re this way because of him!” Moriarty turned, teeth glinting in the light. Irene took advantage of the opportunity to race away but Moriarty kept his dark eyes fixed on John, growling deeply, “We’ll make him pay.”

“No! You… You need to get stronger first!” John insisted, “I’ll take you somewhere to get strong!”

He had no idea what he was doing, he just needed to get Moriarty somewhere safe he knew. Somewhere that he could help them heal, it was the right thing.

Moriarty ignored the humming of the ship, voices cold, “And you want that? You want for us to get strong to destroy him?”

“Yes!” John lied, eyes sparkling at the prospect of helping someone. Perhaps he could change their minds about Sherlock… “Let me help you… I’ll take you somewhere safe.”

Moriarty’s face contorted, their physical forms rejecting one another a moment, before they regained control and managed a curt nod, “Fine.”

 

* * *

 

They awoke in agony, Jim and Richard tearing at one another to be free, and only with more of John’s tears and assistance getting out onto the beach to watch the waves did the crying fade somewhat.

Jim rubbed his cheek against the warm sand, thankful as the searing wrongness down his middle dulled. He could feel Richard now, the other Gem’s gaze fixed on the waves rolling in and out. It was almost peaceful…

He cast his mind back to before the forced fusion, back before everything had gone black. Of course there was the war, the one that had raged on for decades. Jim couldn’t recall anything in any real detail, the damage to his gem was too extensive, but still, he could remember his fellow rebels. He could remember their enemies. And he could remember him. Hiddenite. The way he’d called Jim to his temple headquarters and had advised him, had confided in him that Purple Diamond was his… brother.

Such a human word. Looking back, Jim realized that Hiddenite’s use of it had been calculated. He’d wanted Jim to believe that he had the humans’ best interests at heart. He’d explained at the time the manner in which he meant it. They were considered royal on the Homeworld. Rare. Made to rule, both of them, in harmony. But something had happened. Hiddenite had come to look over the colonization of Earth, but somewhere along the line he’d become convinced that humanity was worth something.

Or perhaps he’d just wanted to get out of his brother’s shadow. Have every Homeworld Gem talk about him in hushed whispers as a disgrace. To tarnish his brother’s reputation. To have freedom.

And looking around, he’d succeeded. Hiddenite was free from Purple Diamond’s control. And they were on Earth. No Gem structures, at least not on the island that John had warped them to. Just a human bungalow, recently built. But had the rebellion been a success? How many had died to keep Hiddenite happy?

Richard flexed his fingers. His arms were the lower ones and he seemed thankful for the fact that he had a right and a left one, especially when the rest of him cut off down their seam. It made Jim feel a little sick, knowing that this was most likely what they would be forever. Thankfully there was no recoil as Richard felt his words. He agreed. It wasn’t a rejection of him, it was just a need for one’s own identity. At least that made it easier, rather than having to explain what he meant, Jim could just feel it and Richard understood.

After a few moments, Jim let his right hand slide into Richard’s left hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. This would get easier. It had to get easier. Jim turned his eyes to the water, both of them listening to the waves. Beautiful. Earth was beautiful. The pain wasn’t quite as bad.

 

* * *

 

Richard had been a rebel as well. He hadn’t seemed like much. A little pink Gem, fighting with knives because he couldn’t handle anything larger. Short, compact body, hair fluffed up, innocent eyes. He really hadn’t seemed the type. But Hiddenite had insisted. He was a valuable asset he’d said. In the rebellion propaganda videos, he’d been cast as a deceptively strong Gem, acting demure one moment before posing in staged snapshots of him brutally destroying enemies. In reality, his fighting skills weren’t the best, but Hiddenite understood the power of control. If Cuprite could fight like that, what was stopping the rest of them, his Gems would surely think.

But then Irene had gotten her hands on him. Had split him wide right through the middle of his torso before crushing his gem underfoot before the cameras, the footage broadcasted across all frequencies.

“This is what happens to rebel scum.” Irene had said, turning to the camera, “You will all die.”

Purple Diamond too understood the power of control through propaganda.

 

* * *

 

John limped to the window to check the beach. Moriarty was still sprawled out on the sand, arms occasionally bending to test their strength. A forced fusion. How long had they been developing in that dirt? Had they felt anything before being activated? That same agony without a form to let out the screams with, or perhaps the pain had only begun after. John hoped so. It seemed better than the alternative.

His healing powers couldn’t repair what had been done to their gems, but they did seem to ease the pain somewhat. Maybe there was some other way to help Jim and Richard get to a better place…

After some time standing in front of the window, John shook off his thoughts and headed out onto the sand, slowly making his way over to the fusion. After Irene’s disappearance, John had quickly gotten Moriarty to the warp pad and finally here where he knew it was safe for them to relax. By the end, he was dragging the unconscious Gem into the bungalow on his own, before he raced off to destroy the warp pad. Moriarty was huge. Taller than Sherlock even, and their body seemed pretty strong. Very nice arm muscles.

John sighed and moved to sit down next to Moriarty in the sand, regarding the water with tired eyes, “Do you… feel any better?”

“I… We…” Moriarty murmured, then shrugged, “The pain is bearable.”

“I’m sorry about this.”

“This is punishment for the rebellion. We shouldn’t have taken Hiddenite’s side.” It was Jim speaking, but he could feel Richard’s agreement deep in his chest, their hatred of the Gem blending.

“But humanity…” John started.

“The humans are the reason we’re in this mess. Hiddenite convinced us that they needed our help, then used our sympathy to force us to risk everything.” Jim snarled, dragging their body up to glare at John, “He doesn’t care for humanity. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”

“I… I know the humans need our help. They’ll die without us. If the Homeworld Gems return, I’ll fight back.”

“And how many of you are left then? Rebels?” Jim whispered, voice dark.

“Just… me.” Sherlock as well perhaps, though it hardly counted if their cause wasn’t the same. Sherlock would not go out of his way to save the people.  It really was only John.

“Then you will end up like us.” Jim said with finality, slumping back down on the sand. John opened his mouth, then closed it, then blinked away. He felt enraged and helpless. By Sherlock manipulating him into this position. By his own empathy preventing him from leaving. By humanity for being ungrateful for the sacrifices of countless, innocent Gems like Cuprite and Sinhalite. They deserved better. And part of him was upset with Moriarty, for being so pessimistic. If he lost hope, there was no point in even fighting.

“It’s still worth it.” John decided aloud.

Moriarty didn’t respond right away, but after a time, Richard took over, “How do you make the pain easier to bear?”

“I’m a healing Gem. Soothing, calming, inner strength. Even if I can’t always repair Gems, it is… it was my job to reassure them that they could keep fighting. Or that they could let go, if it was necessary.”

“Oh.” Richard murmured.

“Cuprite?” John said after a time, and Richard looked towards him, “Yes?”

“I remember seeing you on the broadcasts. You looked really good with those knives.”

“I wasn’t really that good actually…” Richard admitted.

“Ah.”

“It’s probably why I died. But Hiddenite insisted that I fight. He didn’t want anyone being useless.”

John glanced at Moriarty and wished he could do something. There was no way Sherlock had known this would happen, but if he did, knowing him, it hardly seemed like he’d care. Everyone suffered. They’d known the risks siding with the rebellion, that’s what he’d say.

But the cause had been hollow. And the risks had been downplayed. He had never said anything about this. About punishment, only death. But he’d always focused on the victory. The victory for everyone. He’d said some might die, but when he said others would survive, they’d all thought that they’d be the ones to survive.

Yet no one had. Only Sherlock. Only John.

Why had John survived? He didn’t pretend that Sherlock appreciated his company past his occasional praise at Sherlock’s skill in battle, so what could it be?

He… he was a healing Gem. Was that it? Was he valuable because he could fix Sherlock if he was ever damaged?

“I still believe in humanity. They can do great things.” John added. And they could. Since his arrival on the planet, although their progress had been slow, they were still driven. They ran into problems, they solved them. They grew, they adapted. Gems didn’t adapt. They stayed the same and when the failures led to deaths, they just made more Gems to replace them. But humans were living and breathing and organic. They felt, they experienced, they continued on despite their inevitable deaths at the ends of their short lives. John watched so many of them die, but somehow they were happy. They didn’t seem expendable. They had no purpose, but that was a good thing. It was better than being made a soldier and revolting just to become someone else’s soldier…

Moriarty didn’t respond and John just laid back, considering the sky as the day passed and blended into night, the universe infinite above them. Moriarty stood and headed back inside. They didn’t want to see the stars. It was too much to take.

 

* * *

 

 

As time passed and Moriarty grew stronger, the lines between Jim and Richard blurred. Of course the pain didn’t go away, but their identity was becoming one, very gradually. While occasionally they felt or thought differently about something, the emotions and ideas began to stop being from two entities, but rather from the same consciousness, interpreted as normal internal conflict. Their memories lost real distinction, simply becoming organized in one group of memories to draw from. They’d lived it all, there was no point in hiding. Barriers made them weak. They’d need to work as one if they were to take on Hiddenite.

John watched them in the early morning after helping soothe the pain with his tears, the way they ran through a series of exercises to lessen the physical disconnect. It was impossible to tell who was addressing him anymore. In the beginning, Jim had been the one with the calculated voice, the dead eyes, the loneliness. Richard had been the one with the shy smile, the genuinely happy lilt, the inner warmth.

Moriarty’s lilt was calculated. His smiles were rare and lonely. His eyes held back sadness or joy or pain under a blank mask.

He was in pain still. And even fused, John could see the loneliness eating away at him. Because his control had been stolen from him. This was a gross violation of both Jim and Richard’s identities and no matter how much blending happened, that damage didn’t just go away.

John wanted to help. Not like he did when Sherlock asked for his assistance. Because Sherlock used him like a tool and while John knew that’s what he was, it wasn’t a nice thought. But Moriarty was too proud to ask. That meant that he thought John’s help had value. Or that he didn’t think he was worth it. And John had always been drawn to destructive personalities.

He got another call from Sherlock and he switched off his phone. There was no point in telling him the truth and he could tell when John lied.

 

“Have you changed your mind about humans?” John asked one evening as he ate dinner and Moriarty read a book, one of the many that John had stashed here when he’d gotten the chance.

“They’re so impermanent. I don’t understand what about them you find worth the effort.” Moriarty murmured, voice surprisingly relaxed at the moment rather than theatrically leaping all over.

“They have potential.”

Moriarty looked up, blinking two sets of eyes at John, “I… _Potential_? What does that even mean?”

“They can be what they want. They can have their jobs, their families, their lives. They aren’t just… Gems. You of all Gems should understand the importance of free will.” John murmured.

“Is that why you pretend to eat? You like feeling human?” Moriarty sneered, as if trying to hurt John.

John closed his eyes, ignoring the sting as he calmed himself before he turned to look at Moriarty again, “I think we have potential to. We don’t have to be… Gems. You don’t need to be a pet or a beast or a monster… You don’t have to be a pawn for Purple Diamond.”

“Just like you think you don’t need to be a soldier?” Moriarty said darkly.

“Yes.”

“But you don’t believe that. If you did, you wouldn’t be one.”

“You’re wrong.” John said, firm in his convictions, “I can be anything I want. I just choose to be a soldier. It’s easy.”

“Humans don’t just choose easy. They choose happiness.” Moriarty corrected.

“You act like you don’t understand people, then you act like you do.” John pointed out as he went back to eating.

“You don’t have to be Hiddenite’s toy.” Moriarty said quietly, “Just like I don’t have to be Purple Diamond’s, isn’t that right?” He wasn’t just antagonizing anymore, John realized. He wanted reassurance.

“That’s right.” John agreed.

“Who cares about family politics anyway?” Moriarty snorted, turning back to his book, “Let’s just live here forever.”

“Sounds like a plan.” John laughed quietly, taking another bite, before he stopped, “Wait… _family_ politics?”

Moriarty glanced up, a self-deprecating smile on his face, “Yeah. Hiddenite and Purple Diamond, Hiddenite told me they were _brothers_. He invited me into his temple and everything, he made me think I was special… Like he understood. But if he understood, he wouldn’t have just let me…”

“Oh my god, that’s why the Homeworld is trying to come back. Purple Diamond wants Sherlock!” John exclaimed.

“But the war is ancient history, the only planet Purple Diamond ever failed to take. It seems silly for him to take it back now.” Moriarty reasoned as he set his book aside.

“But if he captures Sherlock and brings him back shamed, it’ll count as a huge victory. It might even encourage the Homeworld Gems to overlook some of the other, less ethical war tactics Purple Diamond wants to use on other planets, like forced fusion.” John pointed out and Moriarty narrowed his eyes.

“Then I’ll take that victory from him. I’ll be the one to destroy Hiddenite for what he did to me, using me and manipulating me. I thought that I was different than the rest. I thought he cared. But… but I’m not going to let him define me. I’m choosing my own life.” Moriarty said through his teeth and John blinked at the intensity of the words. He’d so easily internalized John’s reasons for humanity’s importance. Perhaps that self-definition was exactly what had been lacking in Moriarty’s life, with these two different facets of his personality mixing but not quite blending fully, he needed to know that he wasn’t what others had created. He needed to take his power back. He needed to make identity changes of his own, so he could feel in control of his destiny.

“Yes. Good. I…” John made a face. Maybe Moriarty was right. He was still letting Sherlock define him…

“I’m not anyone’s soldier anymore. I’m…” But if he cast off his only label, what was he? Just something broken?

“Blue Agate.” Moriarty said, a wicked smile spreading across his face, “Healer. Protector. And a human.”

John nodded mutely, stunned that the terms fit so well, “I’ll need some time to get used to that.”

“Not too long though, I’ll need you to fight by my side. We have some stupid humans to keep safe.” Moriarty chuckled and John smiled back. They would do what they needed to do. If it would protect free will, John would sacrifice Sherlock.

 

* * *

 

 

In his time on Earth, John had seen a lot of human experiences. He was far too familiar with loss, but most of the other experiences were out of his grasp. One of the most difficult to understand was family. He hadn’t bonded with any of the Gems that had been made with him. His rebel companions had been few and gone too soon. Even after thousands of years by Sherlock’s side he’d still been unable to fully grasp what family felt like.

But some evenings, after training, they’d start up a fire, and Moriarty would listen to John talk about humans and their technology, about movies and the internet and the rises and falls of civilizations. And John would listen to Moriarty talk about his life back before the war, how Jim had worked as a scout, traveling the universe and exploring new worlds with a sense of freedom in his heart, how Richard had worked on one of the vacation planets, at a quiet little bookstore that hardly got any business so he could spend his days reading and daydreaming of far off places.. Moriarty’s face lit up as he told John everything, eyes turning to the night sky as he thought of his homes.

But always a reminder of the draft made Moriarty’s face close off and words fall silent. The beginning of the end. As wonderful as Earth may be, he still missed his homes. John wished he could help. As interesting as he was to be around, it hurt to see what Moriarty had been forced to become. There was so much darkness in his eyes. Hatred for the Homeworld, for Purple Diamond. And for Sherlock. They’d chosen the rebellion because they’d wanted to be free again. Because Jim had wanted to feel special with Sherlock’s attention, because he wanted to go back to living among the stars, and Richard had wanted to go back to his quiet life. But in trying not to be pawns, they’d just become pawns for someone else.

“Do you think that when Sherlock is gone, that you’ll be able to go back to your old lives?” John asked quietly.

“Perhaps. If I’m able to get off the planet.” Moriarty said, looking away from the sky and back to the fire, “What about you? What are you going to do?”

“Earth is all I know. And if I’m gone, something might happen to it…”

“If we do this right, Purple Diamond will prefer to sweep his failure on this planet under the rug. I don’t think we need to worry.” Moriarty winked at John and John stiffened a little, not sure what to make of the gesture.

“So if Earth isn’t going to be in danger anymore, what do you think I should do?”

“It’s not my place to tell you what to do, it’s that the entire point of fighting back against the Gems?” Moriarty pointed out with an eye roll.

“You can still give me a suggestion.” John sighed.

“You can always travel the universe with me.” Moriarty said casually.

“As… your personal healer? In case you get hurt?”

“No.”

“Then why would I do that?”

Moriarty looked away, out at the inky waves for a few moments, and John wondered if he was going to say something, but then he just shrugged and stood, heading towards the bungalow, “It’s not my job to define your future, John.”

John watched the fire for a long time after that, only pulling away when it had burned down to embers. What did Moriarty want from him?

 

* * *

 

John got started repairing the warp pad in the meantime. Moriarty trained for his revenge and John worked to get him where he needed to be. He was just considering taking a break when Moriarty stepped up behind him, considering his work, and John glanced back, “Yes?”

“I’m just looking, Johnny. No need to worry.”

A nickname. It felt so human.

John nodded and refocused, “Alright.”

“Maybe, even if things don’t go our way, we can still travel the universe.”

“Excuse me?” John said, looking back in confusion.

“If Purple Diamond starts Gem production back up despite what happens to Hiddenite, maybe we can still leave. It’s better than you ending up in a forced fusion.”

John shuddered at the thought before he came to his senses, “No! We need to protect humanity! What about everything I told you about Earth’s importance?”

“Humans aren’t the only free creatures. What about us?”

“Us? I don’t think that a forced fusion really counts as freedom.” John said sharply, aware that he was overreacting because he was panicking, but it was only because he’d been certain Moriarty understood, but it seemed like he was really just learning the lesson for selfish reasons. Humanity wasn’t just there to teach a lesson and then easily discarded, how did Moriarty not see that?

Moriarty blinked, a split second of pain clear in his eyes, before his mask came up, “I was talking about you and I. We’re free.”

“There is no you and I! There is only Earth! Don’t you see! It’s a cause worth fighting for! Worth dying for! And to me, it’s even worth suffering forced fusion.” John said harshly, pulling himself to his feet.

“No! You’re supposed to understand!” Moriarty insisted, “You shouldn’t be at risk. I don’t want to sacrifice anymore.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not yours to lose.” John snarled, shoving Moriarty back, “You don’t own me! You don’t control me! I’m free!”

“But are you free if you’re dying for a cause?”

“If it’s a cause you believe in, then yes! _I_ was supposed to understand? No, _you_ were supposed to understand. This is bigger than Gems. We don’t count.”

“You don’t value yourself, how are you any different than Purple Diamond?” Moriarty narrowed his eyes, “John, we can be free together.”

“Freedom is Earth.”

“Earth can’t love you back.”

“Humanity then!”

“You know they don’t care about you either. Run away with me.” Moriarty insisted.

“I don’t need anyone to care about me. I don’t need love.” John scowled, “Why don’t you understand. I’ve never needed it before.”

“But you’re human, aren’t you? Humans like love.” Moriarty offered.

“I’m not a human. I never was. I’m a soldier. I’m just here to protect an idea.” John said coldly.

“You’re human to me.” Moriarty said.

“Is that supposed to be a compliment? You were just saying you were fine with letting all the humans die.”

“You’re… better than a human.” Moriarty tried, Richard’s warmth bleeding into Jim’s words, “Let me safe you.”

“I don’t want to be saved.” John squared his shoulders, “I want to be left alone. I’m going to finish fixing the warp pad, then you’re going to leave and handle Sherlock.”

“And after?”

“I don’t care what you do.”

Moriarty blinked at John for a few moments, then he turned away, heading back to the bungalow, “If you want to suffer, go ahead.”

 

* * *

 

Moriarty was sprawled out in the sand as he had been their first day on the island and John sat beside him, voice soft, “It’s ready.”

“I need you.” Moriarty responded, “I hate that I do, but I need you.”

“I’m not running away with you.” John said, drawing out a sigh, “You should know better than that.”

“I do. I don’t expect you to.”

The sound of the waves rolling in took over and some of the tension in John’s shoulders eased somewhat, “If… if we were certain Purple Diamond gave up… I might go. But I’d still like to visit.”

“Of course.” Moriarty said after a pause, not wanting to seem to eager. The corner of John’s mouth turned up and he looked down at Moriarty, teasing lightly, “You’re such an awful Gem. Abandoning humanity when they need us most.”

“Yes.” Moriarty agreed.

John reached to smooth back his hair, smiling faintly, “I’m kidding.”

“But it’s true.”

“Well, it’s only that you value me more than seven billion people.”

“Which means that it’s true.” Moriarty said firmly.

“Only a little. Most Gems would probably find that sweet. Some humans might as well.”

Moriarty sat up, turning to stare at John, “I don’t want you to suffer like I do. You’re so pure, you should be spreading your idealistic message around the universe, not just tethering yourself to a lost cause. Only you and I against an army? We aren’t strong enough.”

“Well let’s hope for our sakes that killing Sherlock is enough to save Earth.” John shrugged.

“Come with me.” Moriarty urged.

“To space?”

“To the fight. For moral support. I at least want to enjoy every chance I have to be with you.” Moriarty shrugged.

“I… Of course. Yes, of course.” John nodded rapidly, trying to keep it cool as he felt his cheeks warm. Away from their argument, hearing the sweet words made it a little hard to focus and John looked away when he heard Moriarty chuckling quietly, “Oh be quiet.”

“Never, get up. We need to take care of Hiddenite.”

 

* * *

 

 

Moriarty was holding John’s hammer in his hands as he entered the arena, surveying the space until his eyes landed on Sherlock.

“So, this is where Blue Agate’s been all this time.” Sherlock said casually, selecting an ax from the weapons rack before he began to circle. Moriarty followed his lead, heaving the hammer up into a fighting stance, “Do you remember me?”

“I can’t say I’ve ever met a forced fusion before those little abominations in the Kindergarten pit, so no, I don’t remember you. I guess you crawled out of there before I could get my hands on you.”

Moriarty tightened his grip, leaping back as Sherlock swung, “Cuprite.”

“Ah, the lovely little actor.”

“And Sinhalite.” Moriarty growled, smashing the ax aside with a clean sweep.

“It doesn’t ring any bells.”

“ _Jim_.” Moriarty pressed, “You told me about your brother. That I was special…”

“You wouldn’t believe how many Gems had low morale. How many of them _felt lonely_. And they all thought that I cared about them, how pathetic is that?” Sherlock began a series of attacks that Moriarty skillfully blocked, panting as heartache overwhelmed him.

“Just a few whispers in their ears and a kiss on the forehead and suddenly they were motivated by more than the just cause, but by love. It makes them that much more willing to sacrifice.” Sherlock continued, laughing at the expression, “Don’t like that much, do you? Even together you’re alone, because you’ve always been alone. And you were never special.”

Moriarty struck out with the hammer, managing to land a blow across Sherlock’s head but it hardly phased him and he kept coming, slashing at Moriarty, nicking his skin. He was too affected, he needed to clear his mind. But he wasn’t special. He was just another Gem. They were all the same. Soldiers. What did it matter?

“Shut up!” John’s voice was there beside him and Moriarty stared in shock as John grabbed the hammer away and knocked Sherlock’s legs out from under him before he dragged Moriarty to the side, panting hard, “Fuse with me.”

“But… It’ll hurt you.”

“You need clarity. You need someone to believe in you. You can’t face this alone. Fuse with me.” John grabbed Moriarty’s lower hands, dragging him into a smooth dance.

“Fusion is a cheap tactic to make weak Gems stronger.” Sherlock scoffed, eyes widening as their physical forms faded into light and they blended, before emerging, iridescent blue and shimmering. One set of eyes. One pair of arms. Slicked back blond hair and a wicked grin complimented by arched eyebrows. A body that towered over the arena. And John and Moriarty’s gems shone clear and proud, one over his heart and the other on his forehead.

Kyanite looked dangerous as he heaved up the massive hammer, smirking down at Hiddenite, “Too bad you don’t have anyone to fuse with. I think you’re just mad because you’re single.”

Hiddenite stood still for a few moments, gawking up at his new opponent, and in the next moment he was crushed into fragments by John’s hammer.

 

* * *

 

In the thousands of years since the war, Richard’s store along with the rest of the town had been reclaimed by the forest.

Moriarty had taken a moment to steady himself, blinking hard at the faintly visible street, before he turned to John.

“I’m sorry you had to see it like this. I wish you had been able to return after the war.” John whispered, a hand reaching up to cup Moriarty’s cheek.

“At least I got the chance to come back.” Moriarty said quietly, leaning into John’s hand, “And… there are plenty of other planets in the universe we can visit. I’m sure one of them has an even better bookstore. In the meantime, I don’t need to daydream about traveling anymore.”

John broke into a smile, “Don’t get too carried away, we still need to check up on Earth sometime.”

“As if you’d let me forget, Johnny.” Moriarty winked, taking his hand and leading the way back to the ship, “Come on, we’ve got the universe to see.”

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: Fanart was drawn for this fic by the amazing mizzes--jawn on Tumblr, you can see it here (mizzes--jawn.tumblr.com/post/124807733475). Thank you so much for your hard work, I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful piece drawn for this silly thing haha :) Everyone go check it out!!
> 
> I also drew this as reference while writing to keep what Moriarty looked like straight in my head for anyone interested, it's not very good though (http://jimzuccofromit.tumblr.com/post/124812004279).
> 
> Edit: mizzes--jawn drew another amazing thing for this, please check it out! (http://mizzes--jawn.tumblr.com/post/124818592415)


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